I took this photo when I was twenty years old. I was mostly alone in an apartment for the week before college started. I had privacy, time and a camera. So naturally I ended up experimenting with self-portraits and the light coming through the blinds.
I was still really unsure of myself then. That feels obvious to me now. The blinds are closed, my arms are crossed, and I look guarded — but at the same time, I had chosen to stand there naked in front of the camera. I wanted to hide, and I wanted to be seen.
That tension is probably why I still like this image so much. I was trying to understand my body, my art, and honestly myself. I was mainly just experimenting and seeing what I could capture.
Looking back now, Twenty feels less like confidence and more like the beginning of it. A younger version of me, still awkward and uncertain, but starting to let himself be seen.
